Dear Julian
by Shadow Hand Zealot
Summary: Takes place after X-23 #3. Spoiler alert. A story dealing with how both Julian and Laura and how they deal with her departure, and how they find the resolve to keep moving forward despite the fact the one they care about most is not with them.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own X-Men or any Marvel-related properties.**

**Slight spoilers for X-23 #3**

**A/N: This is just a short story idea that popped into my head. Since I have writers block with my other two stories, maybe this will get the creative juices flowing again. It deals with how Julian and Laura deal with the latter leaving to go find herself and how they resolve to carry on without each other.**

Dear Julian

The sun rose in the east in a familiar gold and red hue that had graced Utopia and San Francisco the last few weeks. Its warmth bathed Julian Keller, Hellion, in a soft embrace, telling his body to awake. His eyes began to twitch until the bright light pierced through between their lids. He winced, only to blink, and let more light into his body. He began to raise himself, finding it harder that morning than usual. It was not because some machine had taken his hands during the final battle of the Messiah War. No, something much more dear to him had been taken from him last night. He knew Laura had come by, but not that she had left.

He sat up in bed and moved to brush the mess of hair in his face away. He mentally scolded himself when he realized, yet again, his hands were gone. Despite him developing his telekinesis to substitute for his hands, it still pissed him off that he could no longer hold a pizza, open a door simply… or brush a stray leaf out of a girl's hair.

He stared at his door, longingly. Laura had come to visit him last night, much like she had before going on that suicide mission to save them all. When she came to see him last night, his gut told him it was going to be important. He had made sure he was awake and eagerly waited for her to rustle him out of bed to tell him he needed to be more careful about leaving his room insecure, or something. He felt her with his telekinesis when she entered his room. She was barely a yard away, yet she had said nothing. She simply left, without a word.

The thought dawned on him right then that maybe he should have said something to her before she left, instead of pretending to sleep. He felt stupid all of a sudden. His best friend had come to talk to him, yet he blew her off. Hell, she probably knew he was awake, too. Some friend he was.

For all Julian knew, she needed someone to vent to. Being ostracized by many due to her involvement with X-Force, nightmares that she was having, that explosion she was just in, and trying to find a place to belong, it had all been weighing heavy on her. It pissed him off that their friends treated her so poorly. Especially Nori. Julian had a hunch as to why she did it: keep them all safe, she knew nothing else, and other reasons that compounded those. It made him feel even better that he stood up for her.

That was not enough for him at that moment though. He needed to find Laura and really talk with her. He missed that opportunity last night, but he would make up for it. Of that he was sure.

Julian rolled himself out of bed, showered quickly, dressed, and made his way to the usual places he could count on finding Laura. He started with the infirmary, figuring Doctor Nemesis would still want to make sure she was alright, despite her healing factor. That was another thing grinded on Julian; that people seemed to think once Laura healed physically she was fine in every aspect. Just like everyone was treating him like a cripple, now that he had no hands. He still had his damn telekinesis, but people just saw the fact that he had no hands. He was more than his injury, but no, people saw a traumatized little boy.

Laura did not treat him like that though. She was great like that. Julian allowed himself a smile, glad that someone, especially her, still treated him like she did before his injury.

It seemed Dr. Nemesis had discharged Laura not long after Julian was sent on his way after the incident with Wolverine. No matter, Julian moved on to the next place she ought to have been. The nightmares she was having had driven her to start sleeping under the stars. He found the patch of grass between the trees where she had taken up roost. All there was to greet him was thousands of blades of grass. Her impression in the grass had practically disappeared.

_Well, she's usually up before I am,_ Julian deduced. He went to the open-air market next. Many of the island's residents were still having breakfast and would come for the farmed goods grown on the island. A quick scan of the market and Julian did not find Laura. He pushed through the crowd and bumped roughly into a solid mass, bruising his shoulder.

"Ouch! Watch it, you moron!" Julian growled, turning to see who was unfortunate enough to bumped shoulders with him.

"Dude, sorry. Geez, you wake up on the wrong side of X this morning?" It was Santo Vacarro, his friend, aka Rockslide. Solid man of stone. Smart-ass.

"Shut up, Santo. And no. Don't suppose you've seen her, have you?" Julian asked, frustrated.

"Nope. Lost your girlfriend again, huh?" Santo ribbed Julian some more, laughing jollily.

Julian growled again, "She's not my girlfriend!"

"Sure, whatever you say. I see you checking her out," Santo continued to laugh lightly.

"I'm a guy, of course I-"

"HA! He admitted it! Hey, everyone! Julian likes checking ou-!" before Santo could finish his sentence he felt himself lifted off the ground and enveloped in a green glow. Before he could object, Julian hurled him out toward the bay. Santo would survive the fall, and get back to the island quickly. Such was the beauty of living through stone golems.

Everyone in the immediate vicinity stared at Julian, taken aback. He left the market without a word, knowing he'd likely get a talking to from one of the higher ups in a few hours. He needed to find Laura.

The next obvious place she would be was her room, but even there he had no success. He tried the island's danger room next, nothing. He then checked with the port to see if she took a trip to the mainland, but they said there was no record of her taking one of their boats. They said she may have taken one of the ferries that now gave limited service to Utopia. That was not like her though.

Julian checked with Pixie next, thinking Laura might have had her teleport her somewhere. Pixie told him she had not. Bitterly, she said Magik had not either. It seemed there were still issues between those two. Julian could not blame Pixie though.

Julian tried the Stepford Cuckoos next. When they told him they did not detect her on the island or in San Francisco, he became worried. His only choice was to go to the one person who might know where she was besides Logan.

Julian stood outside of Utopia's command center and entered without waiting for permission. As he hoped, Cyclops, Emma Frost, Storm, Magneto and other higher ups were present. Everyone's gaze pierced Julian. He did not care what meeting he just interrupted, Laura's whereabouts were his only concern.

Magneto, one of his idols, was the first to speak, "There is a meeting in progress, young man."

Magneto gave Julian nothing but contempt and patronization. It was this high-and-mighty demeanor that Julian had grown to hate in a lot of people, mainly because he saw his former self in them. With Magneto though, Julian could not hold it against him. This was a man he respected, who he would have followed as a disciple at some point. If given the opportunity, he still might.

Emma Frost was the next to speak, "Yes, quite. Wait your turn Julian. We will discuss your using Rockslide as a skipping stone later."

Julian collected himself and sternly said, "No. I have a question, and I want a straight answer."

Magneto rubbed his eyes, "No respect, no humility… boy, you best start learning your station in life."

While intimidated, Julian made a point to not show it in the slightest. Laura was nowhere to be found and no one seemed to know where she was. He was going to get his answers.

"Someone tell me where Laura is. Now," Julian's body began to glow green. Everyone exchanged looks of uncertainty before looking away from each other down at the conference table, "Well?"

"Best you tell the boy, Scott. Before he embarrasses himself further," Magneto droned. Julian was about to round on him when Cyclops intervened.

"Julian,if you want answers, you will calm yourself." Cyclops said sternly. Julian glared at him, but relented for the sake of getting some answers. They all exchanged uneasy looks again, "She's left the island."

"What do you mean, she's left the island? Why are you all looking at each other like that?" Julian pressed for answers, wanting them faster than they were being dispensed.

Cyclops looked up and stared at Julian for a bit before saying, "Storm?"

Storm stood up and walked over to Julian, "Come with me, I will explain."

Julian was not sure if he should have been worried even more. All he knew was that he was not going to like the answer he was about to get.

Storm and Julian flew to her garden. Besides the small farms on the island, this was her private sanctuary. Her gardens were always filled with the most exotic of flora. There was a small stream that she had irrigated to flow through the entire garden, adding to the Zen atmosphere. Julian spied a chess board on a bench off to the side. A game had been started and left in medias res. Everyone loved Storm's gardens. In one way or another, they appealed to a person's need for peace and serenity. She led them to the chess board and offered him a seat.

"Can I get you anything, Julian?" Storm asked him. Julian kindly refused.

He decided to take a calmer tone with Storm, "Please…just tell me where Laura is."

Storm nodded, understanding his desire, "You really care about her, don't you?"

The question was one Julian had dealt with before. Although, the question was often asked in a more inflammatory manner by Santo or Nori.

"Yes, very much," Julian answered. It felt weird to vocalize it. "Please, I need to know."

Storm nodded and solemn explained Laura's situation, "Something has changed inside of Laura, Julian. I don't know if has anything to do with that explosion she was in a few days ago, or her involvement with X-Force. Whatever the case, she no longer felt she belonged here. She said she needed to go find out who she was before someone starts trying to tell her again."

Julian felt his stomach begin to roll into knots. His jaw began to quiver. He bit back the urge to lash out. He respected Storm too much than to do that in front of her in her garden, "But, she… I… we… she saved us and they… fuck them, she deserves to be here more than most on this island. We should have… I…"

"She does indeed deserve to be here, but she does not feel like she belongs, Julian. She is not the only one who has felt that way," Storm further impressed that point upon him, remembering Beast's departure.

Julian was at a loss for words. Storm placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him. She had not realized there was someone on the island who had felt this strongly for Laura. It was good to see, yet tragic as well.

"You love her, don't you," Storm inferred. Julian looked at her, uncertain of what to say. He had never seriously thought about it from that kind of perspective. But he and Laura always were close or really far apart. He found himself thinking about her, a lot. She said she missed him even.

"She's my best friend."

Storm's expression saddened, "I thought as much."

"She's not coming back, is she?" Julian sighed. He realized that when she visited last night, it was just like the time she visited him before she went on that suicide mission. She had not planned on coming back from that mission. Perhaps that was true here, too.

"Not for awhile, no," Storm answered, "But do not give up hope, child. She said this may be her home again, but not until she finds what she's looking for."

Julian let his eyes wander over the many flowers and the little streams, processing all that he had just learned. Laura was gone. For the first time it was not because someone had ordered her to go, not because she was going on some mission for someone else, she had left because she wanted to. He had just realized how much he cared about her and now they were further apart than ever. They could not even talk about them. He knew that she had feelings for him too. She was no good with words, but there were other ways of telling. He needed to be alone, and the last thing he wanted was someone pitying the state of his life.

"Thanks for telling me," Julian said. He got up and made to leave Storm to her garden.

"If you truly love her, Julian, you won't go after her. You will find a way to keep living your life while she does the same," Storm advised. Julian turned back to her, jaw hanging.

"What would you know about it?" Julian asked seething. How dare she try to understand what he was going through?

"I know what you're going through at this very moment, Julian Keller, because the one I love is trying to discover who he is too," Storm explained, before Julian could slip in a smart-ass comment about T'Challa having a mid-life crisis of sorts, she continued to speak, "My husband has lost his kingdom, his home. His position as their protector now is held by another. Now he is in Hell's Kitchen, trying to discover who he is without the crown, without Wakanda. Since Daredevil's fall, he has taken over protecting that part of New York."

Julian continued to hold his tongue. What Storm was telling him was completely out of left field.

"I know he needs to face this chapter of his life alone. But that does not mean I will not be there if he ever needs me," Storm continued, "We both know right now we are where we need to be. I'm here where my people need me, and he is where he feels he is needed. Never would we let that diminish the love we have for one another."

Julian considered her words, but the need to be alone still clawed at every fiber of his being.

"Thank you, Storm. I…I hope your husband finds what he is looking for," Julian said, unable to think of anything else to say.

"Thank you, Julian. For what it's worth, Laura will be fine, wherever her journey leads her," Storm tried to assure him.

"I hope so. I swear to God, I hope so," Julian left Storm to her garden. One question answered sprung forth many more. But Julian was nowhere further in his own life than he was before. He was still lost, trying to find his way with the new circumstances presented to him. While everyone was ushering in a new era of peace for mutantkind, he was ushering in one crazy life to take the place of another.

He dropped by Laura's room one more time. He did not bother using the front door; he flew in through her window and just took a few minutes. He already missed her sorely and needed something to hold onto. He never had seen her room before, but it came as no surprise that it was relatively plain. That was Laura; low-maintenance, only the bare essentials. He allowed himself a smile. Somehow, in his gut Julian knew that she would be back someday. He needed to believe that from then on whenever he thought about her.

Julian made his way back to his room still sorting through all that he had just dealt with. The danger room sounded pretty good right then. What better way to let off some steam than to wreck a bunch of things. He was about to dress down in his workout attire when he saw a folded piece of paper in the crack of his door. He snagged it with his telekinesis and saw it simply titled "To Julian".

Julian unfolded the letter and a photo fell out. It was a photograph of Laura. Immediately he read the letter.

_Dear Julian,_

_I wish I could have done this in person, but you know I am no good with words. As you may already know, I have left Utopia. I do not know how long I will be gone or where I am going, but I need to get away from where everyone thinks they know me better than I do. Do not worry, I have hope. I have hope that I will find what I am looking for, that I will learn who I am. _

_I want to find my own way. I need to discover who I am when I am not taking orders or around familiar surroundings. I used to kill because I was ordered to, because I wanted to protect what I care about. I am known only as a killer. I need to find out what else I am; who I truly am. When I find this, I might return._

_I want you to know that you are my best friend and hope you do not hate me because I left. What I am about to ask of you is only more difficult because you are my best friend. I must ask that you do not follow me. But know if I ever need you, you will know. I do not understand the nature of the feelings we have, but I promise when I return we will discuss them if you still wish to._

_My time in X-Force, I did it because I __believed__ believe that you, our friends, the other X-Men are worth dying for. I did it for all of you so you could live. So, I also ask of you, Julian, to live._

_I miss you._

_-Laura_

_P.S. Keep your room secure. Train well, just in case._

Julian stood there reading the letter over and over until he could see the tiny imperfections in the paper. There were dried water drops here and there. Tears… Julian could feel some of his own coming. A few slipped out before he bit the rest back. She would not want him sitting there moping. No, not at all.

The morning sun had not reached its zenith yet. It was still the beginning of a brand new day. Julian could have told himself that this was the first day of the rest of his life, but he never bought into that fairy tale ideal. For him it was more like life had dealt him bad hand after bad hand. He could quit right now or ante up and get back into the game. The latter was more his style. It was his only choice.

He put the letter in is nightstand and pinned the photo on his mirror.

Julian took another look at what his life had become. This was a new chapter for mutantkind alright. There was an optimism not felt in years. Despite everything, he was not going to let a few bad cards dealt his way be the end all, be all. He only had one choice and he could look at it with a smile now.

Julian was ready to keep on living.

**Tell me what you think. I might do one more chapter following Laura right after she leaves Utopia.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own X-Men or any Marvel-related properties.**

**Slight spoilers for X-23 #3**

**A/N: This is just a short story idea that popped into my head. Since I have writers block with my other two stories, maybe this will get the creative juices flowing again. It deals with how Julian and Laura deal with the latter leaving to go find herself and how they resolve to carry on without each other.**

Dear Julian Pt. 2

Just a few loose ends to tie up, like always. Laura watched Utopia slowly shrink into the distance from the deck of the ferry taking her to the mainland. The sky had a mixture of crimson and gold compliments of the morning sun. Part of her wondered if being there on that ferry, right then, was the right course for her. Wolverine was in a state unlike anything she had seen before, likely rampaging around terrorizing those closest to him. No, what attacked her and Julian was not Wolverine; that was a husk using Wolverine's body. For certain, the X-Men were going to need help tracking him down and figuring out how to fix the situation. Laura was a great tracker. That was the problem: that was a label. A label used the same way people call upon a hammer when they need to strike a nail. She needed to believe that she was more than that. Laura knew she was more than that. She had seen her soul for herself.

All data, circumstances, and feelings considered, being on that ferry was where she needed to be. Nevertheless, there were a few things about her departure that irked her.

"Miss?" Laura turned to see a security guard, "Would you mind if I see the contents of your bag?"

Laura gripped her bag tighter, "Yes. I have not done anything to warrant an investigation."

The security guard rubbed his eyes, uncomfortable with the situation apparently, "Listen, I don't want to do this, but the tatted asshole down that way said he saw you with a knife. Can I look in your bag?"

Laura looked to the tattooed one the guard had indicated. He was bald and had tattoos everywhere there was skin exposed. He had a few piercings as well and was eyeing Laura up like she was prey. Defeated, Laura grudgingly handed the guard her bag. There was not much in there. Some changes of clothes, some cash, and her old X-Force uniform. The guard was about to pull that out when Laura stopped him.

"I would rather not broadcast my associations," Laura urged the guard, "I have no intention of causing trouble."

The guard looked at her suspiciously, but he relented, "Alright, but keep your distance from the tattooed guy."

"I can handle him," Laura assured the guard.

"I figured, but that's why I want you to keep your distance," the guard explained, it was a reasonable request, but commentary on her life as it was.

People always told her what to do. Some things never change. Cyclops would give her orders, she'd follow them. Wolverine was the same at times, but tried to give her choices. The facility, Kimura, all of them. Even Julian had given her orders at a time when Mercury, their friend Cessily, was captured by the facility. It was different with him though, unlike everyone else in this list, he ordered her to not kill. He was different, but were his orders any different because of that? It was still an order. However she started to care about what he thought about her after that incident. What would he think about her now that she had left without saying goodbye to him? That worried her the most. Sure, she worried about the fate of Wolverine, her friends, the island, but she needed to go. Still, did Julian not deserve some explanation? Did he not stand by her when the others rebuked her?

The ferry pulled into the dock and Laura departed, keeping an eye on the tattooed racist. When he saw her eying him, he withered and ducked his head, ashamed. It seemed that even strangers feared her. It was not because she was a mutant. She simply did not live up to people's preconceptions. That was true with everyone on Utopia it seemed. That was why she left.

For the first time in her life, Laura had no idea where she was going. She debated purchasing a greyhound ticket and picking a random location, but it did not feel right to pick just one destination. Nor did it feel right having someone else transport her anywhere. That left either trying to buy her personal mode of transportation or walking. She did not have enough cash on her to buy anything in San Francisco without there being too many questions, leaving her to pound pavement.

As she made her way out of the city, she made very few stops. Her first was a small diner to get some breakfast. She ordered a plate of pancakes, something she had grown a fondness for while staying at Angel's Aerie. That nagging doubt at the back of her mind had not completely vanished as she sat there, idle. Leaving Julian behind like that was something she needed to do, of that she had no doubt. She could not shake leaving him clueless though. She had to do something for him for no other reason than maintaining one of the few friendships she still had. She was no good with good-byes or much else. Julian knew that about her, but he it did not matter to him. He still made an effort to be there for her.

What made the situation worse was a part of Laura wanted to be there with Julian. She wanted to know what he was going to say to her before Logan stabbed him in the back. She cared for him, for Cessily, Santo, Victor, and Surge, despite her treatment of her recently. Laura had gone over this in her head countless times before and after leaving Utopia. Every time she gets comfortable around what she cares about, something or someone always came around to destroy it. It always forced her to run. It happened when she went to live with her cousin Megan and Aunt Debbie, it happened at the Xavier institute, and now it had happened at Utopia. This time was different though. She was not running away. This time there was a chance that she could come back. When thinking of that an uncommon feeling seeped through every fiber of Laura's body. The tension in her muscles ceased slightly, her respiration rate was slower; she felt comfort.

She finished her meal and continued to make her way out of the city. Her next stop was just outside of a small condo complex. It was where her cousin Megan and Aunt Debbie lived before the Facility uprooted all of them. She did not linger there long though. She had fond memories of the place but the house that had been destroyed was built anew with a new family living there. Laura saw a woman holding a child kissing her husband good-bye before he went to work; time had passed this place by quickly as there was no trace of what had happened there nearly two years ago. Laura did not know what to think about what she saw, but it gave her pause to think. Despite the excess of violence that this place had seen when she was there, life had returned to it. Storm had told her of such things happening in nature: forests burning to the ground and life returning in time.

If that happened for normal people too, then perhaps there was some hope of similar phenomena occurring in her life. Her reasoning came full circle again; she needed to leave to heal herself.

Find and heal herself. Two things that she wanted that were not ideas planted in her head by anyone else. It was a start.

She was approaching I-80 quickly as she moved through the city, no one paying her any attention. All in all that was how she preferred it. How long she would remain unnoticed, she could not know. She figured that there was a strong chance that the X-Men would send someone after her to try and return her to the island. Not that they could keep her there. She also imagined that Storm would dissuade others from pursuing her. For some reason, Storm understood Laura better than most did. That baffled Laura to no end; someone who she barely interacted with was the closest thing she had to a mentor besides Wolverine. Laura did not know what to do with that. For all her training and experience, there was much she could barely fathom; mostly the innocent things that others took for granted.

Laura's last stop before leaving San Francisco behind was the Fisherman's Wharf. Her cousin Megan and she used to spend a lot of time there. It was there Laura truly began to appreciate family. It was there that she decided to go to the Xavier Institute and really try to build a different life for herself. It was there that Wolverine banned her from X-Force and told her to figure out what she wanted in life. This place was nothing less than an important place for her.

She sat on the edge of the dock and took in the San Francisco Bay one more time, not knowing when she would see it again. The normally greenish-blue waters were hued yellow and orange from the sun, still young, lifting off from the horizon. Before she could begin to savor the sight, she heard feet tap against the wooden dock behind her. A scent she had not smelt over year and a half back was carried to her by the wind, reminding her of a incident when she was fifteen.

She remembered a room lit only by a hanging lamp over her head. Two men. One was blind, wore red-tinted sunglasses, and a pinstripe suit. The other clad in red, white, and blue from head to toe. They stood before her and began asking her questions. The first one he asked her was…

"Are you X-23?" a voice asked. Laura whirled around from where she sat and saw a man standing there; the one who was dressed in red, white, and blue in that dark room. Now he was dressed in a blue jumpsuit, harness, a brown trench coat. He still had a lone white star across his chest though.

"Captain America," Laura stammered, her mind going into flight-or-fight mode. What reason could he possibly have for being there?

"I'm not Captain America anymore. Been promoted, sort of. I'm Captain Rogers now," he said, as it was now. His tone was calm, yet commanding. Laura could not tell if he was trying to be funny in some weird way, "Answer the question."

That was all Laura needed to tell she should be careful with what she said next.

"No," she answered firmly, not breaking contact with his blue eyes. They stood there, squared off, for what seemed like minutes. Laura had no clue what to expect, but did not once dare unsheathe her claws. Rogers gave her a nod and held his hands up, showing he did not mean any harm.

"I hope so," he said, "Mind if I join you for a bit?"

Laura nodded and Captain Rogers sat down on the edge of the dock, inviting her to do the same. Laura was still uneasy, but sat anyway. She let only one of her legs dangle over the edge of the dock just in case she needed to move quickly. Everything about this situation was strange.

"You can relax… Laura is it?" Rogers said, seeming to have noticed her posture. His years of experience made him privy to certain cues.

"What are you doing here?" Laura asked him.

"I was actually on my way to see Summers and a few other residents of Utopia," Rogers answered, "You're one of them actually."

Laura's hands tensed against the wooden frame of the dock. There were only a few things that the number one security authority of America would want to talk to her about. Very sensitive those things were.

"I think we both know what I'm referring to," Rogers said. Laura sat up to leave, but he caught her by the arm.

"Remove your hand from my arm or I'll remove it from yours," Laura threatened coldly. It sent shivers up her body whenever someone, a man especially, touched her when she did not desire it.

"I'm not here to arrest you. I'm just trying to get the facts and close some old files before dealing with the mountain of work ahead of me," he explained, releasing his grip as he stood, "I let you go before. I need to know that I did not make a mistake."

Laura turned away. She was caught between a rock and a hard place. While she was not being detained, this was the sort of incident she was hoping to avoid with her friends on Utopia. However, being on bad terms with someone like Steve Rogers was typically a bad idea.

"Okay," Laura relented, hearing no variation in his heartbeat. He was truthful. Rogers had her follow him to a small café. They sat outside and he ordered a coffee for himself. Laura kindly refused an offer for a beverage. While this had been going on she noticed that there were multiple agents sitting amongst the crowd. They were probably security for Rogers, but more likely a buffer between them and the public so they would not be over heard.

"Everything we discuss here stays between us, okay?" Rogers said, still no variation in his heart rate.

"I want to believe that X-23 is not sitting across the table from me, and that you are Laura Kinney," Rogers began, "I want to believe that you aren't calculating multiple escape routes from this meeting, ways of killing me, whatever."

Laura still did not meet his gaze, unnerved that she was doing exactly what he thought she was.

"I have records that show you going the Xavier institute, leaving once it was destroyed and coming out here," he continued, "Then there was nothing; as if all the records SHIELD and HAMMER were keeping on you disappeared."

"You were keeping track of me?" Laura asked, more curious than surprised. She met his gaze then.

"Like I said, I wanted to make sure I did not make a mistake letting you go," Rogers explained, "Granted that became tough after the civil war, and everything else."

"And now?" Laura asked.

"That period of time where there are no records? I did some digging," he answered, pulling out a data pad and handing it to her. On the screen was a woman Laura recognized. It was someone who helped her during her last encounter with the facility, "I trust you're familiar with Agent Morales."

"Yes," Laura answered, seeing exactly where this conversation was leading. It was going somewhere unpleasant.

"I questioned her about this discrepancy and she came clean with me about the Facility. I'm sorry about what happened to you there," Rogers continued, "She had been looking for you months by that time. She originally was investigating a Purifier massacre across southwest United States."

Laura's hands visibly tensed. He was referring to one of her first X-Force missions. It was one of the most violent ones she had ever been on in her life. She must have killed dozens of religious extremists during that mission alone.

"Can you see how I don't know if I'm talking with X-23 or Laura Kinney now?" Rogers asked, "We both know you were involved in all of that and more. What I don't know is why. Twice I've been after you. First time you escaped, the second I let you go, both times you went on to kill more and more people. Tell me, did I make a mistake letting you go?"

"No, you did not. I may have killed many since you let me go, but it was not a mistake," Laura countered. She explained a little about her time at the institute, how she first encountered the religious extremists and how those she killed during her time there were in the defense of other mutants.

"Then what about the massacre?" Rogers pointed out, "Those Purifiers were killed on their own turf. How was that defensive?"

Laura scowled, "You are familiar with war?"

"Very," Rogers said humbly.

"Then you know that sometimes to defend what you care about, you must attack. To protect those you care about, take the fight to the enemy," Laura continued, as if reciting her art of war.

"So you and X-Force just took it upon yourselves to murder them," Rogers implied, not liking what he was hearing.

"We were at war. We had orders, we followed them," Laura hissed, her anger flaring. There it was again, people making assumptions about her.

"To kill."

"Did you not do the same in World War II, Captain?" Laura asked.

Rogers was taken aback slightly. He considered her words carefully. In WWII, the United States was attacked and it retaliated. He joined the war effort. He killed to protect the country he loved, to protect the people he cared for. Laura and X-Force did the same thing. The Xavier institute had been attacked countless times. Once the mutant messiah was born, it increased tenfold. With their numbers already dwindling, it should have been expected that there was going to be a response like X-Force. For as much as Steve Rogers tried to differentiate him and his fellow GI's during the Second World War from Laura and X-Force, he could not. There were too many similarities to be ignored.

"So, what now? The war is over now," Rogers prompted her, "You've spent most of your life killing and following orders, it seems. What are going to do with peace?"

Laura considered her words carefully, "I do not know. That is why I am leaving. I need to find out who I am. I need to build my own life before someone else decides to for me."

Rogers sat there holding her gaze. He sighed and gave her a smile, "I'm glad to hear you say that, Miss Kinney."

Laura cocked her head aside, again caught off-guard by Rogers. She did not know what to make of his words, "Explain."

"You have been dealt a tough hand time and time again. I've seen many in similar situations go bad," Rogers explained, "You, despite everything, are still trying to change things for the better. That's true integrity."

He thought back on all the villains and bad people he had dealt with over the years. Some of them were once good, or knew nothing else and did not want to change. It was people like Laura that would force him to relearn that people's destinies were not set in stone.

Given that endorsement, Laura felt more confident that leaving the X-Men was the right thing to do.

"Thank you," Laura returned Rogers' smile, briefly. Something she had not done in awhile. It was nice, despite its brevity, "Is that all?"

"Yes, you may be on your way," Rogers nodded, finishing off his coffee, "I hope you find what you're looking for."

Laura got up and began to leave, but stopped. Rogers' encouragement may have served to put to bed some of her concerns but she could not shake one.

"I want to ask you something," Laura turned back to Rogers, "When you left to fight the Axis, did you have any regrets about who you left behind?"

Rogers sighed again and nodded, "I had a beautiful woman that I was dating when I got shipped off. I worried about never seeing her again if I died in the line of duty. I did not let that fear keep me from fighting though. Writing letters helped though. Made me feel closer to her."

Laura nodded and said, "Thank you, Captain."

"Best of luck, Miss Kinney," Rogers bid her farewell and waited at the table until she was out of earshot. Once she was, he signaled a man over from inside the café. The man was tall, bald, built like an ox, and had dark skin.

"How'd it go, Cap?" Luke Cage asked sitting down next to Rogers.

"She'll be alright. I'm going to keep her in my peripherals though, make sure the Facility stays off of her if I can," Rogers replied.

"So she's not in?" Luke Cage asked.

"I didn't even bother asking her," Rogers answered, "Keep her listed as a potential recruit though. I think she would be a fine student at the Avengers Academy. Your students would benefit greatly from her experience."

Laura made a few more unplanned stops after her unplanned meeting with Captain Rogers. She dropped by a drug store and an internet café. She picked up some stationary and cheap digital camera. She did not want the regret of leaving Julian behind without a word of good-bye weighing down upon her while she went out into the world. She wrote a letter, took a picture of herself, printed the latter off at the internet café, and sealed them both in an envelope. She made one last call to one of the island's teleporters.

"Hello?" a young, feminine voice with a Russian accent answered.

"Illyana, it's Laura," Laura answered, "I need you to meet me in the city."

Laura relayed her location to Illyana, aka Magik, and remained vague on the details. As far as Colossus' sister knew, it was just another pickup. Laura called her over Pixie, knowing that Illyana would not get all giddy at Laura giving a letter to Julian.

Magik appeared within minutes and Laura handed her the envelope, "I'm not the postal service."

"I will not ask you to do this again. I just need you to do it this once," Laura explained.

"Why did you not call Megan?" Illyana asked, annoyed. Laura simply glared at her, "Oh, right. Fine, then. I guess I'll see you later then."

Illyana disappeared beyond her portal once more, leaving Laura standing on I-80 facing east. With no more doubts and less regrets, she was ready to face the unknown. X-23, the drone assassin, was dying. Laura Kinney was beginning to live.

**No, I do not plan on doing a "X-23 joins the Avengers Academy" in the near future or at all. But I would be open to maybe co-writing one depending on what my school workload is like. Consider this a free fanfic idea in the meantime to pursue on your own, with my blessing, if you so choose.**

**Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this two-shot. Let me know what you think.**


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